March 21, 1995
One of the Tiger Troops had studied alchemy, but who knows about an alchemist who would come to town?
- Chris (Jonathan Brandis)
- Danny (Justin Whalin)
- Darren (Ricky Schroder)
- Jimmy (Joey Lawrence)
- Zack (Balthazar Getty)
- Jay (Will Friedle)
- Lily (Allison Mack)
- Karen (Nicholle Tom)
- Mary (Lisa Wilhoit)
- Rachel (Blaze Berdahl)
- Ellen (Thora Birch)
- Diane (Lacey Chabert)
- Abigail (Janice Kawaye)
- Aidan (Hassan Nicholas)
- Akiko (Megan Miyahira)
- Bridget (Melissa Altro)
- Danielle (Cristina Pucelli)
- Edward (JoJo Adams)
- Freya (Katie Polk)
- Jaclyn (Melanee Shale)
- Jeanette (Alexandra Picatto)
- Joe (Kevin Williamson Jr.)
- Lolita (Janessa Ray)
- Michael (Mark Humphrey)
- Sophie (Lisa Ortiz)
- Victor (Grant George)
- Yang (Christian Buenaventura)
- Celestis (Jonathan Hyde)
- Elektra (Lisa Ortiz)
- Rita the Wicked Witch (Rhea Perlman)
- In this episode, the female members of Tiger Troops wear casual action hero clothes.
- Most of the Kidsongs kids from the first season of The Kidsongs Television show appear in this episode.
- (we see a view of the school)
- Chris: You know what, Yang?
- Yang: What?
- (cuts to Chris, Lily, Mary, Rachel, and Yang walking at the school hallway)
- Chris: We are going to alchemy class so we can study more alchemy.
- Yang: Really? That's great!
- Chris: By the way, Yang, what is alchemy?
- Yang: Well, alchemy is very old stuff, but nowadays, it was changed into chemistry.
- Chris: I see. Is there alchemy in modern years?
- Yang: Not really. It's way too old.
- Lily: Are there any alchemists in modern years?
- Yang: Well, there can be.
- Mary: And what is an alchemist?
- Yang: An alchemist is a person who does magic powers.
- Chris: Sounds great!
- Yang: C'mon, we'd better go to class. We don't wanna be late.
- Chris: Yeah, right.
- (Elektra magically appears)
- Chris, Lily, Mary, Rachel, and Yang: Whoa!
- Yang: Who do you think you are?!
- Elektra: Don't ask questions. I'm here to tell you about alchemy.
- Chris: Look, we have to go to class and study alchemy.
- Elektra: Oh, really? Okay, so alchemy is the art of magic. It's the medieval forerunner of chemistry, based on the supposed transformation of matter. In modern days, it was changed into chemistry.
- Lily: Oh? So that's what alchemy means.
- Elektra: Exactly. So you guys are alchemists, right?
- Chris: Right. These girls and I are alchemists. We use magic powers.
- Elektra: What do you mean?
- Chris: What do I mean? Well, we studied alchemy and we did a great job on that type of thing.
- Elektra: All right, guys. You'd better go to class right now.
- Rachel: All right. Let's go. Come on, guys. We'd don't wanna be late.
- Chris: Yup.
- (Elektra magically disappears)
- (Chris, Lily, Mary, Rachel, and Yang go to their next class)
- (after the Tiger Troops theme song, we see a view of the school)
- Chris: Hey, guys. Check this out.
- Yang: Wow! What is it?!
- (cuts to the Tiger Troops and the kids at the cafeteria table)
- Chris: It's my alchemy homework. (he takes out his alchemy homework out of his backpack and puts it on the table)
- Yang: Your alchemy homework!?
- Chris: Yeah, I did so well on my homework. Did you girls do your alchemy homework, too?
- Rachel: Yep. And here's ours. (she, Lily, and Mary take out their alchemy homework out of their backpacks and put it on the table)
- Lolita: Wow! That's great!
- Edward: But wait a minute. I've something to tell you.
- Chris, Lily, Mary, and Rachel: What?!
- Edward: If you put your alchemy homework on the table, you will ruin it. So you hafta put it back into your backpacks.
- Lily: What're you talking about?
- Edward: I'm talking about your alchemy homework.
- Chris: Our what?
- Edward: Well, you know the homework that you did at home yesterday.
- Mary: But we finished our homework.
- Jaclyn: You did?!
- Mary: Yeah. And it's all finished.
- Chris: Can we put our alchemy homework back into our backpacks?
- Jaclyn: Sure. You can put it there.
- (Chris, Lily, Mary, and Rachel put their alchemy homework back into our backpacks)
- Chris: There. Now we can finish our lunch?
- Yang: Okay. But you'd better hurry up and finish your lunch before the bell rings.
- Chris: Oh, my God! That's not fucking gonna take too long to finish our lunch! Fine, we'll eat it.
- (the Tiger Troops and the kids finish their lunch)
- (the Tiger Troops and the kids leave the school)
- Chris: Gimme a break. The girls and I did my alchemy homework.
- Lolita: But the teacher told you and the girls to hand out the homework but you didn't.
- Chris: Fuck you, Lolita!
- Lolita: No swear words, Chris! I mean it!
- Chris: I already did my homework, dammit! Now what the fuck's the big deal?!
- Lolita: Shut the fuck up and listen to me! You need to hand out the homework by tomorrow.
- Chris: Is there alchemy class in school today.
- Lolita: No, but there is in school tomorrow.
- Chris: Yeah, right. We have our own schedules.
- Lolita: I'm just kidding. (giggles)
- Chris: Yeah, Lolita. Let's go home. We don't wanna miss the bus. Let's go! (he grabs Lolita's arm)
- Lolita: Ow! Don't grab my arm!
- (Chris and Lolita approach to the bus)
- Chris: Hi, Mary. Can I sit with you?
- Mary: Sure.
- Chris: Okay. (he sits with Mary)
- (Lolita sits with Lily)
- Lolita: Hi, Lily. How're ya doin' today?
- Lily: I'm fine. We're just going home today.
- Lolita: Yeah, right. I need to take a rest.
- Lily: Me, too.
- Lolita: I'm tired.
- (the bus leaves)
- Chris: Look, I was thinking about going to the Tiger Troops lab. Do you wanna come?
- Mary: Sure! I'd love to!
- Chris: (turns around and look at Lily) Lily, do you wanna come?
- Lily: Sure.
- Chris: Okay. (turns back) Maybe Rachel can go to the Tiger Troops lab.
- Mary: Yeah. That'll be fun.
- Lily: (turns around at look at the kids) You guys wanna come to the Tiger Troops lab with us?
- Joe: Sure! We'd love to!
- Lily: All right, then I'll meet you at 3:15, okay.
- Freya: Okay.
- Lily: Okay. (turns back)
- Chris: Good. Then, we'll just have to take a rest at home until we go to the Tiger Troops lab at 3:15, okay?
- Mary: Okay.
- (we see a view of the Tiger Troops lab)
- Chris: What's alchemy? What's an alchemist?
- (cuts to the Tiger Troops and the kids at the Tiger Troops lab)
- Yang: Do you know what those are?
- Mary: Well, alchemy is the ancient version of chemistry. An alchemist is a person who does magic powers.
- Rachel: But alchemy's not real! And alchemists aren't real, either!
- Joe: You're right, Rachel. They aren't real.
- Jaclyn: Now there's chemistry.
- Mary: Bullshit. I never thought an alchemist appeared in the modern world.
- Michael: Yeah, yeah. Maybe we can compare the different between al--
- (thunder booms and Rita appears, cackling)
- Tiger Troops and kids: (screaming) AAAAAAAAH!!!!!
- Yang: THE WICKED WITCH IS BACK!
- Rita: You dare to defy the old witch?!
- Chris: Go away! You're an evil person!
- Rita: Oh, yeah?!